Fear is controlling

I would like to say I am not a fearful person all the time. But sadly, that Is not the case. One fear I have is a fear of heights. If I am high aboce the ground my legs start shaking and my heart starts racing uncontrollably. My knees feel like jello and im usually stiff and wont move. I went to a lighthouse two summers ago. I thought I would be okay going up the huge spiral staircase, but I wasn’t at all. The steps were tiny and I didn’t have much to hold onto. I am famous for tripping up the stairs or down the stairs, so going up that staircase of death without much to hold onto, was a big problem for me. When I got to the top, my family went to the endge and saw the beautiful view of the ocean and everything else. I stayed inside, sitting on the ground, trying to catch my breath. I would not lean over the rail so I could see the ocean. That rail could give in at anytime and I could fall to my death. It sounds dramatic now, but it is a reasonable fear. Another fear are birds. I absolutely hate birds so much. They are stupid and I feel like some of them could be dangerous! There are big birds out there and could swoop down and peck people to death. I guess that is kinda irrational, but it is still a fear of mine. I think they are stupid and just being somewhat close to one is creepy to me. I don’t mind ducks, turkeys, or peinguins for some reason. Crows are the absolute worst. They are black and creepy looking and they all eat dead things on the side of the road and its scary. I hate them. I sometimes have a fear of talking in front of people. I guess it just depends. If its people I don’t know, then I get a little afraid, but if its with my family or friends I have no problem with it honestly. I try not to be afraid too much of little things. There are things that I am scared of but try not to be. I don’t want to live my life in fear.